Liveblog: The Package

PREVIOUSLY, ON LOST: Nothing too interesting. Zoom on Hurley. Zoe! Aka Tiny Fey.

Night vision zoom: Kate/Sawyer. Whoops, didn't hear what he said, rewind. Not important: it's pretend cocoa, folks.

Ouchie Jin, that looks really painful. Oooo Flocke wants to know if it's Jin or Sun. Hm. Oh, and when you say leave the island, you mean kill all those people. "Leave."

Whoops accidentally published the post. Hey, remember when Jin was an asshole? That sucked. But Sun looks pretty. OH they're not married. WOAH. WEIRD. WOAH. WAIT. This is WEIRD. WEIRD. WHAT.

Sayid looks upset. Maybe cause he's emotionless? That's weird. Shock or Sickness? Hey, remember when Asian-dude never explained

oh, hey darts. What the fuck? Why is Locke not here? Looks like Widmore saw through Sawyer. Or realized Jin/Sun is important?

NEW FAVORITES! The captain and Miles. Which I keep writing Myles. Sun is PISSED. Finally. Thanks for not being just wide-eyed and silent. You've been through a lot just like everyone else.

Jack, no one cares about your mirror. Really, no one does. Especially not Sun right now.

I still can't believe that they're not married in the other-world. Who's going to be this mystery man? Dammit. Typing meant I missed the subtitles. Um, um, UM SUN? You're kind of hilarious. Are the two of you actually happy? That would be precious. I like Sun with long hair though.

Wasn't it night at the other camp? And ouchie, again, but this time for Sun.

Oh no, wait, Jin, please be happy. With Sun. Also, you're really hot. Uh oh. I don't like that there is knocking on the door.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH KEEMEY. ARENT YOU DEAD?! AHHHH.

Uh oh, does Sun forget English?

Uh oh, Locke ANGRY. Wow, are they dead? no, just knocked out.

Is Jin going to be tortured? Cause OHHHH he's in the locked room. But please don't torture him. That would be weird and unnecessary. Oh, it's a brainwashing room. Is that like the one on the island? Dammit I should be a better Lost watcher. OH BUT I AM RIGHT. Room 23. That name I know. So he's not on a submarine.

Oh, Kate's name isn't on the wall? Not anymore? And then Claire can kill her? Locke is weird. HAHA I LOVE SAWYER: "Cause that'd be ridiculous." Bodyguard huh? God Keemy is an awesome actor. Thank you Lost for bringing him back, he's kind of baller.

Wait, does Alpert know what he is doing suddenly? Also, Not-Locke is about to KIIIIIILLLLLL you all. Right now. Or Sayid is.

Pylons? What does that mean? Widmore, Sayid is going to shooooooot you. And so now Widmore is the new counter-villain?

Haha Miles. Why are you here again? Also, Sun is being AWESOME. "I didn't come here to save the world, I just wants my husband back." Also, I really like that this actress, who is known for being Korean, does her best scene in Korean.

OH RIGHT JIN IN THE FREEZER. SAYID. RIGHT. FORGOT. God I <3 Keemey. Even as evil as he is. Bad guys are always more fun.

Oh! Widmore wasn't automatically killed by Sayid! That's convenient. Thaat camera IS on, silly, it's open. AWWWWWW BABY!!! Baby AND puppy!!!!! Baby at birthday! Well this is precious. Jinnnnn.....

So I am confused that Widmore and Ben are enemies. ITS A WHO. BETS: DESMOND. PLEASE BE DESMOND. So a positive of being a non-Lostie: I don't get any spoilers from the names that flash during the credits.

Ohhhh translating-Russian, please don't kill Jin. Pleeeeasssseeeee don't kill Jin. OMG OR SUN. STRAY BULLETS. WOAH. JIN. OMG. OMGOMG. OMG WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH LOST WHAT.

Jack, I SO don't care about you. You're only taking advantage of Sun's lack English-speaking abilities to talk more. Aw, a symbolic tomato. Sun please don't buy it. I like the emoticon, though. Jack, enough with the trusting. And the needing people liking you.

So why isn't Kate an candidate? She's still alive, right? HAHA Sawyer's "aww, hell." Awesome.

Sayid's a creeeeper. Also, it's totally Desmond. CALLED IT. Why did they do that now? Please let Desmond be important but NOT the new Jacob. Cause there's baby Charlie to think about.

Well, I kinda liked that episode!