Liveblog: The Package

PREVIOUSLY, ON LOST: Nothing too interesting. Zoom on Hurley. Zoe! Aka Tiny Fey.

Night vision zoom: Kate/Sawyer. Whoops, didn't hear what he said, rewind. Not important: it's pretend cocoa, folks.

Ouchie Jin, that looks really painful. Oooo Flocke wants to know if it's Jin or Sun. Hm. Oh, and when you say leave the island, you mean kill all those people. "Leave."

Whoops accidentally published the post. Hey, remember when Jin was an asshole? That sucked. But Sun looks pretty. OH they're not married. WOAH. WEIRD. WOAH. WAIT. This is WEIRD. WEIRD. WHAT.

Sayid looks upset. Maybe cause he's emotionless? That's weird. Shock or Sickness? Hey, remember when Asian-dude never explained

oh, hey darts. What the fuck? Why is Locke not here? Looks like Widmore saw through Sawyer. Or realized Jin/Sun is important?

NEW FAVORITES! The captain and Miles. Which I keep writing Myles. Sun is PISSED. Finally. Thanks for not being just wide-eyed and silent. You've been through a lot just like everyone else.

Jack, no one cares about your mirror. Really, no one does. Especially not Sun right now.

I still can't believe that they're not married in the other-world. Who's going to be this mystery man? Dammit. Typing meant I missed the subtitles. Um, um, UM SUN? You're kind of hilarious. Are the two of you actually happy? That would be precious. I like Sun with long hair though.

Wasn't it night at the other camp? And ouchie, again, but this time for Sun.

Oh no, wait, Jin, please be happy. With Sun. Also, you're really hot. Uh oh. I don't like that there is knocking on the door.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH KEEMEY. ARENT YOU DEAD?! AHHHH.

Uh oh, does Sun forget English?

Uh oh, Locke ANGRY. Wow, are they dead? no, just knocked out.

Is Jin going to be tortured? Cause OHHHH he's in the locked room. But please don't torture him. That would be weird and unnecessary. Oh, it's a brainwashing room. Is that like the one on the island? Dammit I should be a better Lost watcher. OH BUT I AM RIGHT. Room 23. That name I know. So he's not on a submarine.

Oh, Kate's name isn't on the wall? Not anymore? And then Claire can kill her? Locke is weird. HAHA I LOVE SAWYER: "Cause that'd be ridiculous." Bodyguard huh? God Keemy is an awesome actor. Thank you Lost for bringing him back, he's kind of baller.

Wait, does Alpert know what he is doing suddenly? Also, Not-Locke is about to KIIIIIILLLLLL you all. Right now. Or Sayid is.

Pylons? What does that mean? Widmore, Sayid is going to shooooooot you. And so now Widmore is the new counter-villain?

Haha Miles. Why are you here again? Also, Sun is being AWESOME. "I didn't come here to save the world, I just wants my husband back." Also, I really like that this actress, who is known for being Korean, does her best scene in Korean.

OH RIGHT JIN IN THE FREEZER. SAYID. RIGHT. FORGOT. God I <3 Keemey. Even as evil as he is. Bad guys are always more fun.

Oh! Widmore wasn't automatically killed by Sayid! That's convenient. Thaat camera IS on, silly, it's open. AWWWWWW BABY!!! Baby AND puppy!!!!! Baby at birthday! Well this is precious. Jinnnnn.....

So I am confused that Widmore and Ben are enemies. ITS A WHO. BETS: DESMOND. PLEASE BE DESMOND. So a positive of being a non-Lostie: I don't get any spoilers from the names that flash during the credits.

Ohhhh translating-Russian, please don't kill Jin. Pleeeeasssseeeee don't kill Jin. OMG OR SUN. STRAY BULLETS. WOAH. JIN. OMG. OMGOMG. OMG WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH LOST WHAT.

Jack, I SO don't care about you. You're only taking advantage of Sun's lack English-speaking abilities to talk more. Aw, a symbolic tomato. Sun please don't buy it. I like the emoticon, though. Jack, enough with the trusting. And the needing people liking you.

So why isn't Kate an candidate? She's still alive, right? HAHA Sawyer's "aww, hell." Awesome.

Sayid's a creeeeper. Also, it's totally Desmond. CALLED IT. Why did they do that now? Please let Desmond be important but NOT the new Jacob. Cause there's baby Charlie to think about.

Well, I kinda liked that episode!

Liveblog: Ab At-whatever.

So i am late to the game because i wasn’t going to liveblog, and then Richard was Ricardo and riding a horse.

So I had to.

As the episode is paused, commentary: it apparently is so far Spanish-themed. Hooray? Also, Ricard = muey caliente!

Thank you Jack for finally asking someone to just be honest. Also, your smirk when you responded “Locke’s dead,” was priceless Jack and also made me want to slap you.

With that, I’m pressing play!

So seriously, Ricardo? Spanish? Canary islands? 18what-the-what? Aaaand it’s consumption! Aka tuberculosis. Aka, Richard if you leave her she is going to die alone. Ahh, but a souvenir!

Oh, Ricardo. Am I supposed to recognize the evil doctor? Ooooo he is meeeeean. But I honestly am not caring very much right now. I also love Nestor Campbell. I think whatever problems I have with this episode will have nothing to do with him. Oh, youuuu just killed the evil doctor. Whoops. Hm. That’s no good.

Awwwwww, your love is dead, poor Richard. That is the theme of Lost. Aw, oaky, this part is sad. Ooooh he speaks English! Sorta. Awww, Richard is discarded by a priest? Wow, no wonder he thinks he is in Hell. Wow, this is a really bad priest. Can they even do that? I wouldn’t know, I’ve only been to confession once in my life. <-- that was a confession. HAH! See what I did there?

Eeeeeenglish? You totally came over on that ship. Ohhhh, maybe the priest isn’t so terrible.

Aww, what IS terrible is Lost CGI. Also being a slave. Ricardo eyes! EGYPTIAN STATUE!

Huh, I forgot the smoke monster is so old. Question: Why did Jacob bring people to the island if the smoke monster was going to kill them? Or is he/it allowed to kill all non-candidates?

EYE! And definite eyeliner. Oooo butterfly! This is a really long flashback.

EWWWWW Wild boar. Grosssssssss.

Okay, what the hell if Isabella isn’t the smoke monster? I’m confused. Unless she is? Jacob’s touch! It’s life-giving and all. OHHHH Just made that connection with the fountain. Jacob = fountain. Both give life. Possibly- oh. It’s the man in black. Like Richard, also muy caliente. Man in Black is tricky.

OOO… it’s good to see you out of those chains? I should really know who said that line.

Again with the no-talking-only-killing policy.

Man in black is being confusing. He has no body? Also right-wrong divide of choices.

Jacob’s a fighter? Weird. Does that count as touching? Also, Crazy Jacob is weird. He shouldn’t have got that haircut. And that scene was poorly done. This is confusing.

Ohhh I see what they’re doing here. Jacob isn’t a keeper of the island, he’s the keeper of the evil. Wait, that line Jacob said was reeeeally important. Ugh, Jacob SUCKS. He’s like a crappy parent. Has he evolved since this time? Is this like immature whiny Jacob? Also cocky Jacob. HAH inside joke.

JESUS that was a long flashback. Really was it necessary? I guess now we know why the island exists, and what Jacob does, and who Albert is. COME ON- after 200 years the necklace is that easy to find?

Hurley, we all go to hell? Well that’s a bitch of a line.

JOHN LOCKE LOOKING BALLERRRRRRRR. What whaaat.

Was breaking the wine necessary?

So that episode was WAY melodramatic. It was like a fan version of Lost: too many symbols, too heavy-handed, too self-referential but not in the good way, etc. I do love Alpert, though. So frankly, all is forgiven.

So i am late to the game because i wasn’t going to liveblog, and then Richard was Ricardo and riding a horse.

So I had to.

As the episode is paused, commentary: it apparently is so far Spanish-themed. Hooray? Also, Ricard = muey caliente!

Thank you Jack for finally asking someone to just be honest. Also, your smirk when you responded “Locke’s dead,” was priceless Jack and also made me want to slap you.

With that, I’m pressing play!

So seriously, Ricardo? Spanish? Canary islands? 18what-the-what? Aaaand it’s consumption. Aka, Richard if you leave her she is going to die alone. Ahh, but a souvenir!

Oh, Ricardo. Am I supposed to recognize the evil doctor? Ooooo he is meeeeean. But I honestly am not caring very much right now. I also love Nestor Campbell. I think whatever problems I have with this episode will have nothing to do with him. Oh, youuuu just killed the evil doctor. Whoops. Hm. That’s no good.

Awwwwww, your love is dead, poor Richard. That is the theme of Lost. Aw, oaky, this part is sad. Ooooh he speaks English! Sorta. Awww, Richard is discarded by a priest? Wow, no wonder he thinks he is in Hell. Wow, this is a really bad priest. Can they even do that? I wouldn’t know, I’ve only been to confession once in my life. <-- that was a confession. HAH! See what I did there?

Eeeeeenglish? You totally came over on that ship. Ohhhh, maybe the priest isn’t so terrible.

Aww, what IS terrible is Lost CGI. Also being a slave. Ricardo eyes! EGYPTIAN STATUE!

Huh, I forgot the smoke monster is so old. Question: Why did Jacob bring people to the island if the smoke monster was going to kill them? Or is he/it allowed to kill all non-candidates?

EYE! And definite eyeliner. Oooo butterfly! This is a really long flashback.

EWWWWW Wild boar. Grosssssssss.

Okay, what the hell if Isabella isn’t the smoke monster? I’m confused. Unless she is? Jacob’s touch! It’s life-giving and all. OHHHH Just made that connection with the fountain. Jacob = fountain. Both give life. Possibly- oh. It’s the man in black. Like Richard, also muy caliente. Man in Black is tricky.

OOO… it’s good to see you out of those chains? I should really know who said that line.

Again with the no-talking-only-killing policy.

Man in black is being confusing. He has no body? Also right-wrong divide of choices.

Jacob’s a fighter? Weird. Does that count as touching? Also, Crazy Jacob is weird. He shouldn’t have got that haircut. And that scene was poorly done. This is confusing.

Ohhh I see what they’re doing here. Jacob isn’t a keeper of the island, he’s the keeper of the evil. Wait, that line Jacob said was reeeeally important. Ugh, Jacob SUCKS. He’s like a crappy parent. Has he evolved since this time? Is this like immature whiny Jacob? Also cocky Jacob. HAH inside joke.

JESUS that was a long flashback. Really was it necessary? I guess now we know why the island exists, and what Jacob does, and who Albert is. COME ON- after 200 years the necklace is that easy to find?

Hurley, we all go to hell? Well that’s a bitch of a line.

JOHN LOCKE LOOKING BALLERRRRRRRR. What whaaat.

Was breaking the wine necessary?

Steve, on Recon

I WANT SAWYER AND MILES TO HAVE THEIR OWN CRIME-FIGHTING SPINOFF. OHMYGOD HOW AMAZING WOULD THAT BE?!

Um that said, there was absolutely nothing wrong with this episode and everything right with it, except for that scene when James tried to bring the sunflower to Charlotte, because HELLO, they might be in a different reality but we all know that someday sometime in the future he's gonna be all having coffee with Juliet and need to apologize for something and try that and now it won't be as adorable. That's a lie. It will still be as adorable.

...I would write more coherent things about Widmore/NotLocke, but, a) who am I kidding, and b) I'm *so* distracted by the incredibleness that was Miles and Sawyer as detective partners that I can't focus on the actual island plot for more than a few minutes. Seriously, Best. Idea. Ever.

Oh, one thing: Sawyer's timeline doesn't seem to have changed that much except that he made a different choice at the "turn out to be a criminal or a cop" juncture. Was that influenced by Jacob not having talked him out of burning the letter at his parents funeral? Like, was his anger made slightly less because of his not having a physical object to carry around to focus his anger on? Because he still has the folder full of evidence. Also probably not being a con man would make him way less angry and self-loathing and "I became the man I was hunting-how terribly poetic"-y....but my point is twofold: (and like all things in Lost, when I say "point," I mean "question"): 1) Why was his timeline so much less altered than the other characters? and 2) Are the characters actually the same *people* in both realities? Like, Sawyer's "I reached a point in my life where I could be a criminal or I cop. I chose cop" speech was probably applicable to both realities, only in the other one he chose criminal. The island having blown up in 1977 can't have impacted his life so much that he had enough different experiences to chose the other option, could it? Is he actually a slightly different, dare I say better, version of himself? This is similar to something I was thinking about in the last episode...in either reality, Ben is Ben, right? But in one reality he sacrificed his daughter for the Island, and in the other, he wouldn't sacrifice her well being for his own self-advancement. Of course the difference is that with the Ben situation, the Island is obviously involved, and the stakes were different in the different realities (survival on the island vs. promotion to principal), but it still seems like the alternate reality characters aren't quite carbon copies of the first reality characters. They're slightly better people who make better decisions. And I'm not convinced that would have happened naturally had the island blown up in 1977.

Scott's Dr. Linus Liveblog

Hi all!

Scott here, undistracted by chemistry and watching the episode on an HD television. Very exciting!

Hey at least we're watching Jacob die for the millionth time instead of Juliet in the "previously on..."

Yup, that's one angry smoke monster.

Hah I love Michael Emerson. Run, Ben, run!

I wonder if Alex is his daughter in this reality too.

Yay, band of followers!

Elba....where Napolean was exiled. I see what you're doing with this parallel, Lost writers.

Douchebag of a principal. Dr. Linus!

Arzt! I forget you exist periodically.

Ohhh Ben's gonna run for Principal, isn't he.

With Locke's backing. Yup. I see what you're doing with this parallel.

The whole flash sideways thing--it's making me (and I'm guessing the audience as a whole) support all of the characters, no matter what terrible things they've ...

pause, the ash is Jacob's body!

Ohhhh Ben this is not going to go well for you. Unless Miles lies? .....nope, no such luck Ben. Sorry.

.....well played, Miles, well played (re: repeating Ben's "well he was standing over the body with a bloody dagger, so yeah, I'm pretty sure).

Ohhhh no, Ben, do NOT get tied up in Daddy issues in this show. That's a bad call. Not that you made the call.

Lost letters!

Ben, you're...you're still following them? Are you sure that's a good idea?

Oh Miles, I love you snarky sarcasm.

Haha Frank your sarcasm is great too!

Okay Tania Raymonde's name just came up in the credits. Ohhhh Ben's dad and his daddy issues. That's not good.

....is his dad encouraging in this universe? WAIT WHAT. THE ISLAND...THE DHARMA INITIATIVE HAPPENED BUT BEN AND HIS DAD ... LEFT? I assume in the evacuation? That's when time split right, so everything before it would have had to have still happened the same way.

Alex! AWWW SHE'S ONE OF HIS STUDENTS. AWWW.

(In a sidenote: I really don't think I look that much like her...at all. Just saying.)

Okay, so candidates are candidates to replace Jacob.

...."If you're the one selected, I imagine you'll find out." Yay, cryptic things.

Jack it's weird to me that you're in this episode. I feel like you've been significant in every episode so far.

.....weird background music, I say.

RICHARD. HI!

Sorry was Jack's response to Hurley: "at least he's not stalling?" or "at least he's not Stalin"? I couldn't tell.

Uh oh uh oh uh oh uh oh......okay the magic of Lost: I'm still rooting for Ben not to die and to get a happy ending EVEN THOUGH I THINK HE'S BEEN A TERRIBLE PERSON SINCE SEASON 3.

....ohhhhh no this is not going to go well. This is creepy.

You know what else is creepy? The ad about the plumbers.

Question: What's the deal with Rousseau and Alex in this timeline? Would Rousseau never have gotten stranded on the Island in the first place? When did she crash, again? It was the 80s right? So she just never would have crashed in the first place. Huh.

Ughhh poor Ben. I'm so sorry. Even though you did kill off all of those people including your father and Jacob in this timeline.

Why did Miles....wait pause, are Nikki and Paolo going to become relevant?

Ohhhhh Miles, you and your guilttrips.

Ilana, you are one not happy character that I still do not care about.

"No, I'm not a cyborg," says Alpert helpfully.

"Jacob? What do you know about him?"
"I know he's dead," Alpert says cryptically.

WHOA ALPERT JUST TOLD HURLEY NOT TO BELIEVE ANYTHING JACOB SAID.

WAIT DOES ALPERT JUST WANT TO GO HOME TOO? WTFRAK IS GOING ON???

Hahaha Arzt is angry and bitter no matter what reality he's in.

The black rock? What is the significance of the black rock to you, Mr. Richard Alpert?

Awww Alpert you're having an identity crisis, and I get it, but I don't think Jack and Hulrey are your....JACK WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Okay. I'm kinda with Jack in the whole "answers, please" game.

Does Jaob having touched so many of the Oceanic 815ers mean they have immortal life too? Is that how they survived the plane crash in the first place?

Wow lots of faith, Jack.

Yup. Well placed faith, I suppose.

Are they going back to the beach? Can everyone just please meet up at the beach? I want a Sun/Jin reunion, plz.

HOLY CRAP IT'S NOTLOCKE.

Huh, liking NotLocke slightly more. HAHAHA AND NOW EVEN MORE. THAT WAS FRAKKING AWESOME, NOTLOCKE. I really, really, really wanna make a Charmed reference, actually, because his hand motion when undoing the Locke lock was totally like the one Pru used when she used her powers to undo locks.

AWWW IS LOCKE GOING TO SACRIFICE HIS SCHEME FOR ALEX? OMG I HOPE HE DOES BUT I DON'T THINK HE WILL.

Can someone please give Michael Emerson an emmy? Like, right now?

OH BEN. I JUST WANNA HUG YOU RIGHT NOW AND I DON'T EVEN....OHMYGOD. THIS BEN/ILANA SCENE WAS EASILY MY FAVORITE SCENE OF THE SEASON. So well done.

Holy frak how is this so close to over already?

Also, the weird thing about the flash sideways (although don't get me wrong, I love them) is that in the first season, you knew that characters were basing current decisions on the past experiences that the flashbacks portrayed (and usually growing in a positive direction, see Sawyer and the boar Jack counting backwards from 5, etc.), whereas in the last few seasons, with the flashforwards, it's been a "this is them based on the events of the past that you're watching right now," and you had to kinda guess to fill in the middle, with these flash sideways it's kind of a combination of both but in a weird way...like, this Ben situation is directly parallel to his life on the island...to sacrifice Alex for a bigger cause or not to? In this reality, he chose Alex over the bigger cause but on the island in the other reality he didn't...but the two events aren't actually connected in any way, they're two different Bens. It's interesting.

I'm pretty afraid right now, PS.

Miles sure found those diamonds, alright. Not quite sure what that means.

Aww, Ilana, I like you more. A lot more.

I WANT A SUN AND JIN REUNION. SUN AND HURLEY IS SWEET AND ALL BUT *COME ON*.

w.t.f.?

WIDMORE? WTF?? I FORGOT YOU EXISTED DURING THIS WHOLE JACOB/MAN IN BLACK THING.


Um what a weird song choice for the next week episode. OMG SAWYER!

Lost you have too many characters, I didn't even realize Sawyer wasn't in this episode until just now.

Arright, that's it until next week....

Verdict: Excellent episode.

Sundown.

A few days late, but here I am.

Previously, on Lost. Saayiiiiddddddd. I wonder if we'll figure out what happened to claire in this episode. She was badass.

Oh hey, Sayid with flowers. Hard to remember that this isn't a flashback. Or flashforward. Just... to her. Awww, Nadya. AW NADYA. I'm sorry for you.

BAHHHH CHILDREN. NOOOOO NADYA. AHHHHHHHH TRAGEDY. SAYID, I AM SO SORRY FOR YOU. AHHHHHHH. SO SAD. This is going to take me a while to get over.

Have I ever mentioned that I love Sayid's accent? It's so... reassuring. So no ponypail off-island? Bummer. Awkward, kiddo: leave the photo where it was. Also, Sayid's brother is a coward. Remember the chicken? Not a good idea.

Also he looks better in a tank top. Oh god, another scale metaphor? well, not a metaphor. Just... blatant symbolism. Or whatever.

Aw, Sayid, you're a good man? Well, you do kick ass. This is a pretty long fight sequence for LOST. Also it's making my head hurt. Stop being so jerky, camera.

SAYID SAYID SAYID. Okay, wtf is with the baseball? Isn't that one of the objects young Locke was presented with?

HEY CLAIRE. YAY. The bad guys are way more exciting than the good guys.

Wow, again, all that as a teaser?

So did Sayid not interrogate Nadya then? And nothing lifke some good emotional blackmail. I wonder if you still do habitat for humanity in alternate-reality. Which I still don't understand how it eists.

HEY MILES. What're you doing on the island and in the temple?

Woah, Sayid was dead for two hours? That's fucked up.

I'm really curious about the japanese guy. Also Claire said white line. Oh hey, subtitles! Thanks producers. Also that look Sayid just gave japanese guy was awesome. He basically rolled his eyes.
Ooo, man in black explanation time?? No, just murder time. Oh Sayid, your response is awesome. GOD I wish people would just explain things. I forgot that this gets so obnoxious. Seriously, people, JUST SHARE.

Oh shit, yo brother's

JACK!

awesome cameo. That was awesome. Sayid, listen to Nadya please. But also I kinda don't want you to kill the man in black. Too good a character.

KATE, WHAT THE HELL? "Are you leaving?" I just paused my video so i could rant about how obnoxious I find you. Seriously, you must have a brain.

Why is the temple now so easy to get in and out of? Confused. Did they miss the main door?

Lol Miles. Love you. Oh, hey, I forgot that Kate is looking for Claire. LOL Miles. I guess this is why you're here: when Hurley's at the lighthouse, you're New Hurley.

Smoke monster time!!!!! ... Or others time?? So too late, I guess. He spoke. Sayid, follow directions. Now you just pissed off NotLocke. Bad idea, generally speaking. God I love NotLocke. Not that I believe or trust him, I just think he's awesome.

Sayid, you're being like Jack now. That was a shitty shitty line. Bad call writers.

Wow, Claire is inSANE. Uh oh, Kate, bad choice. BAD choice. Claire is going to kiillll you. No, no no, Kate, stop.

Ooo, Sayid, you're claim of not being evil is fading.

The thing about off-island world, is that even if it's not perfect, it's normal. no jacob,

OH HEY. WHATS HIS NAME. K... Kinney? Fucking weirdo. KEAMEY. Your nam e is Martin? And you're from... what, Queens? Or maybe Brooklyn? Also clearly didn't do his research that Sayid was in the Republican Guard. Um, Sayid?

UM WHAT IS IN THE CLOSET? Please be Sawyer. Or JIN? How did you ever get through customs?

Okay, japanese man, lay it on the table please. Also, the baseball is creepy. Ah, now it is explained. your son who also plays the piano? Ouch, drunk driving killed your son. I also keep typing sun.

So jacob is a healer? Who makes people leave their family behind? Um, Sayid? That makes his guy's role pretty short. Oh well, too bad he can't just speak in cryptic phrases and be annoying. Lennon, does that mean you're in charge? NO HE DOESNT REALIZE WHAT HE JUST DID, BECAUSE NO ONE IS EXPLAINING.

Aaaand yup, Sayid's evil. Smoke monster destruction time. This episode is weirdly action packed and Um, that means Kate is going to die. Miles, are you about to do something important??? That would be nice. BEN! HI! You're gonna die. Um Kate, are you going to die? That would be weird.

Oh yeah, Sun. Is Ben going to die? That would suck. I still don't quite understand... well, most things. Sigh. Oh Lost. I think that look from Locke means that Kate is not important.

There's a war a-comin'.

Scott on Sundown

And here I thought this was going to be a Sun and Jin episode, you know, because, pun?

Um:

The good:

-I like Kate again! Though who knows what the frak she's in for now.

-Miles is awesome

-Sun knows that Jin is (probably) alive and around?

-Lostpedia is excellent.

The bad:

-Me watching this episode went something like "WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF. OMG SAYID DON'T BE SO FREAKING SELF-LOATHING. YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS THAT SELF-LOATHING? SAWYER. YOU KNOW HOW WELL THAT WORKED OUT FOR HIM? NOT VERY." and "UGHHHHHH SERIOUSLY? WTF."


The verdict: I WANT MORE ANSWERS. NOW, PLZ. Anyway next week appears to be a Ben episode, so that should be good.

Still loving the show, despite my complaints.

Sorry for the brevity of this post, chem homework calls...