Liveblogging: Lighthouse

Spoilers follow, and since I didn't open this window until one second before the first big twist, they follow fairly immediately.

WTF JACK HAS A SON?!?! NAMED DAVID?!?! LIKE DESMOND'S MIDDLE NAME DAVID??!? WHO'S THE MOTHER? IS IT SARAH? IS IT KATE. OH GOD I HOPE IT'S KATE OVER SARAH. OMG IN THIS UNIVERSE WAS HE MARRIED TO KATE INSTEAD OF HER BEING MAREID TO NATHAN FILLION....no he would have recognized Kate on the plane, right? It must be Sarah's kid.

Oh oh it's back!

Awww, Jack and his red sox love. Seriously, who IS this kid? SERIOUSLY. Lost, why are you so good at being so mind-bending?

Uh oh Sayid. You're gonna get sick. Like, really not good sick. Evil sick.

CLAIRE! You look so rugged. (Also: Jin totally was in the last episode getting caught by Claire's trap, so the nymag reporter who interviewed Daniel Dae Kim and claimed he wasn't was totally wrong.)

Claire doesn't seem particularly evil!

UH OH, JIN JUST COLLAPSED. Not good not good not good.

Huurley, I'm gonna go with stop staring at the hieroglyphics and do whatever Jacob says. Even though I don't trust Jacob. Hahaha, Hurley "You know, 'cuz I'm a big fan of temples...and like, history....Indiana Jones stuff."

See? Here's you doing whatever Jacob says. Jacob looks so unamused right now that I like him even less then I did when I wrote the above paragraph. At the minute, I'm pro-man in black. I'm so gonna regret saying that at some point, though.

Jack. You're.... you're so Jack. I miss Sawyer. And Juliet. And Locke.

Hahaha that's right Jack. MAGIC ISLAND. Learn to embrace it.

Uh oh. Claire's ANGRY. She still doesn't seem EVIL, though. Claire really is Rousseau, only in Rousseau's case, they really WERE hiding her daughter. Claire's son is safe with her mother....

Claire's not alone? Is she with Christian Shephard? I'm scared. Very scared.

Kate! I fully support you in your quest to find Claire, especially because you know where Aaron really is!

JACK YOUR'E FINDING OUT THAT CLAIRE IS YOUR SISTER IN THIS REALITY TOO!!!

Ew, Claire, your hair is ick. I know that's not the point, just saying.

Your....father? Your....friend? Who are you talking about? IS JACK'S DAD THE SICKNESS? AHHHH THIS IS SO WEIRD CLAIRE I'M SORRY BUT PLEASE DON'T HURT THE INNOCENT GUY WHO DOESN'T HAVE YOUR SON AHHHHHHHH.

Jack: "I'd make a terrible dad" I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE, LOST WRITERS.

Shannon's asthma inhaler? Well that's a blast from the past. UM CAN WE GET BACK TO CHARACTERS I CARE ABOUT PLEASE? ....hahahaha I love Hurley's theory. "What if we traveled back to like, dinosaur times, and then we died and got buried here. What if these skeletons are us?"

OH YOU FOUND THAT PLACE FOLLOWING YOUR DAD. WHO IS APPARENTLY THE SICKNESS. WTF DOES THAT MEAN.

I would like to repeat my earlier "I see what you did there, lost writers" comment re: Jack calling his son's cellphone.

OMG HE'S GOING TO THE MOTHER'S HOUSE. CAN IT BE KATE AND NOT SARAH? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE? ...I know that doesn't make any sense. Oh god it's gonna be someone totally unexpected, isn't it. It's gonna be like....Juliet. Someone TOTALLY unexpected. ...um, can we have a hint, Lost writers? Please? Aww Chopin! Good choice, Lost writers. AWWWWWWW he has pictures of him and Jack!

Hurley, I love it when you self-referentially make fun of the show. It's always funny.

Yeah....I'm not loving Jack in this episode.

......wtf is that? The statue/building thing? LIGHTHOUSE. IT'S A LIGHTHOUSE.

"How is it we've never seen it before?" "I guess we weren't looking for it." "That, or the writer's didn't realize that they were going to need it."

Okay, Claire is seeming a little bit more evil.

Aaaand we're back!

Haha @ Jack's "doesn't say anything on your arm about the door being jammed?"

Wow, Jack's kid is talented. I wanna say he's Dan Faraday's kid, only obviously that doesn't make any sense whatsoever.


Well that dude is clearly island dude. Yup. Island dude. I'm not a fan of Island Dude.

SERIOUSLY WHO IS THE MOTHER? THIS IS DRIVING ME INSANE.

Hey it's like How I Met Your Mother, only....it's Lost.

Teehee, 108 degrees. Crossed out names on the wheel? Wtf?

Jack is putting this together awfully quickly.

.....ohhhh Jack. This is exactly why I'm not your biggest fan. Do you KNOW how much you're going to regret that later? Also, that was SO IMPULSIVE AND SO NOT THOUGHT OUT AHEAD. AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE A DOCTOR? DIDNT' THEY TEACH YOU HOW TO THINK BEFORE ACTING? ....I guess we had whole flashback episodes about him accidentally cutting the wrong things, but STILL. Quit being SO ANGRY. You CHOSE to come back to the island and even as a confused, manipulated pawn in a game you don't understand, you're STILL doing better than you were back home being suicidal after you lost Kate. So PLEASE CHILL THE FRAK OUT.

Okay, this V trailer that's Inara/Anna being like "we share in your excitement for the final season of Lost" is pretty cool, gotta admit.

Jack, please find your kid. Awwww yay bonding moment!

Okay, here's what I want from this episode: I want to find out who the mother is, and I want Alternatereality!Jack to meet Alternatereality!Claire.

Uh oh....why do I think that Claire is gonna destroy the temple? With Sayid in it? WtFRAK IS GOING ON. Uh oh, Jin is so screwed right now. I'm scared.

Um, Claire, please don't kill Kate! WTF NOT!LOCKE????

YOU'RE CLAIRE'S FRIEND? WTF???????

ALSO WE DIDN'T FIND OUT WHO JACK'S KID'S MOTHER IS. I'M UPSET. BLEH.

Not a huge fan of this episode, it was nowhere near as good as the last few have been. Still good, though! I'm excited for next week!