Liveblog: The Package

PREVIOUSLY, ON LOST: Nothing too interesting. Zoom on Hurley. Zoe! Aka Tiny Fey.

Night vision zoom: Kate/Sawyer. Whoops, didn't hear what he said, rewind. Not important: it's pretend cocoa, folks.

Ouchie Jin, that looks really painful. Oooo Flocke wants to know if it's Jin or Sun. Hm. Oh, and when you say leave the island, you mean kill all those people. "Leave."

Whoops accidentally published the post. Hey, remember when Jin was an asshole? That sucked. But Sun looks pretty. OH they're not married. WOAH. WEIRD. WOAH. WAIT. This is WEIRD. WEIRD. WHAT.

Sayid looks upset. Maybe cause he's emotionless? That's weird. Shock or Sickness? Hey, remember when Asian-dude never explained

oh, hey darts. What the fuck? Why is Locke not here? Looks like Widmore saw through Sawyer. Or realized Jin/Sun is important?

NEW FAVORITES! The captain and Miles. Which I keep writing Myles. Sun is PISSED. Finally. Thanks for not being just wide-eyed and silent. You've been through a lot just like everyone else.

Jack, no one cares about your mirror. Really, no one does. Especially not Sun right now.

I still can't believe that they're not married in the other-world. Who's going to be this mystery man? Dammit. Typing meant I missed the subtitles. Um, um, UM SUN? You're kind of hilarious. Are the two of you actually happy? That would be precious. I like Sun with long hair though.

Wasn't it night at the other camp? And ouchie, again, but this time for Sun.

Oh no, wait, Jin, please be happy. With Sun. Also, you're really hot. Uh oh. I don't like that there is knocking on the door.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH KEEMEY. ARENT YOU DEAD?! AHHHH.

Uh oh, does Sun forget English?

Uh oh, Locke ANGRY. Wow, are they dead? no, just knocked out.

Is Jin going to be tortured? Cause OHHHH he's in the locked room. But please don't torture him. That would be weird and unnecessary. Oh, it's a brainwashing room. Is that like the one on the island? Dammit I should be a better Lost watcher. OH BUT I AM RIGHT. Room 23. That name I know. So he's not on a submarine.

Oh, Kate's name isn't on the wall? Not anymore? And then Claire can kill her? Locke is weird. HAHA I LOVE SAWYER: "Cause that'd be ridiculous." Bodyguard huh? God Keemy is an awesome actor. Thank you Lost for bringing him back, he's kind of baller.

Wait, does Alpert know what he is doing suddenly? Also, Not-Locke is about to KIIIIIILLLLLL you all. Right now. Or Sayid is.

Pylons? What does that mean? Widmore, Sayid is going to shooooooot you. And so now Widmore is the new counter-villain?

Haha Miles. Why are you here again? Also, Sun is being AWESOME. "I didn't come here to save the world, I just wants my husband back." Also, I really like that this actress, who is known for being Korean, does her best scene in Korean.

OH RIGHT JIN IN THE FREEZER. SAYID. RIGHT. FORGOT. God I <3 Keemey. Even as evil as he is. Bad guys are always more fun.

Oh! Widmore wasn't automatically killed by Sayid! That's convenient. Thaat camera IS on, silly, it's open. AWWWWWW BABY!!! Baby AND puppy!!!!! Baby at birthday! Well this is precious. Jinnnnn.....

So I am confused that Widmore and Ben are enemies. ITS A WHO. BETS: DESMOND. PLEASE BE DESMOND. So a positive of being a non-Lostie: I don't get any spoilers from the names that flash during the credits.

Ohhhh translating-Russian, please don't kill Jin. Pleeeeasssseeeee don't kill Jin. OMG OR SUN. STRAY BULLETS. WOAH. JIN. OMG. OMGOMG. OMG WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH LOST WHAT.

Jack, I SO don't care about you. You're only taking advantage of Sun's lack English-speaking abilities to talk more. Aw, a symbolic tomato. Sun please don't buy it. I like the emoticon, though. Jack, enough with the trusting. And the needing people liking you.

So why isn't Kate an candidate? She's still alive, right? HAHA Sawyer's "aww, hell." Awesome.

Sayid's a creeeeper. Also, it's totally Desmond. CALLED IT. Why did they do that now? Please let Desmond be important but NOT the new Jacob. Cause there's baby Charlie to think about.

Well, I kinda liked that episode!

Liveblog: Ab At-whatever.

So i am late to the game because i wasn’t going to liveblog, and then Richard was Ricardo and riding a horse.

So I had to.

As the episode is paused, commentary: it apparently is so far Spanish-themed. Hooray? Also, Ricard = muey caliente!

Thank you Jack for finally asking someone to just be honest. Also, your smirk when you responded “Locke’s dead,” was priceless Jack and also made me want to slap you.

With that, I’m pressing play!

So seriously, Ricardo? Spanish? Canary islands? 18what-the-what? Aaaand it’s consumption! Aka tuberculosis. Aka, Richard if you leave her she is going to die alone. Ahh, but a souvenir!

Oh, Ricardo. Am I supposed to recognize the evil doctor? Ooooo he is meeeeean. But I honestly am not caring very much right now. I also love Nestor Campbell. I think whatever problems I have with this episode will have nothing to do with him. Oh, youuuu just killed the evil doctor. Whoops. Hm. That’s no good.

Awwwwww, your love is dead, poor Richard. That is the theme of Lost. Aw, oaky, this part is sad. Ooooh he speaks English! Sorta. Awww, Richard is discarded by a priest? Wow, no wonder he thinks he is in Hell. Wow, this is a really bad priest. Can they even do that? I wouldn’t know, I’ve only been to confession once in my life. <-- that was a confession. HAH! See what I did there?

Eeeeeenglish? You totally came over on that ship. Ohhhh, maybe the priest isn’t so terrible.

Aww, what IS terrible is Lost CGI. Also being a slave. Ricardo eyes! EGYPTIAN STATUE!

Huh, I forgot the smoke monster is so old. Question: Why did Jacob bring people to the island if the smoke monster was going to kill them? Or is he/it allowed to kill all non-candidates?

EYE! And definite eyeliner. Oooo butterfly! This is a really long flashback.

EWWWWW Wild boar. Grosssssssss.

Okay, what the hell if Isabella isn’t the smoke monster? I’m confused. Unless she is? Jacob’s touch! It’s life-giving and all. OHHHH Just made that connection with the fountain. Jacob = fountain. Both give life. Possibly- oh. It’s the man in black. Like Richard, also muy caliente. Man in Black is tricky.

OOO… it’s good to see you out of those chains? I should really know who said that line.

Again with the no-talking-only-killing policy.

Man in black is being confusing. He has no body? Also right-wrong divide of choices.

Jacob’s a fighter? Weird. Does that count as touching? Also, Crazy Jacob is weird. He shouldn’t have got that haircut. And that scene was poorly done. This is confusing.

Ohhh I see what they’re doing here. Jacob isn’t a keeper of the island, he’s the keeper of the evil. Wait, that line Jacob said was reeeeally important. Ugh, Jacob SUCKS. He’s like a crappy parent. Has he evolved since this time? Is this like immature whiny Jacob? Also cocky Jacob. HAH inside joke.

JESUS that was a long flashback. Really was it necessary? I guess now we know why the island exists, and what Jacob does, and who Albert is. COME ON- after 200 years the necklace is that easy to find?

Hurley, we all go to hell? Well that’s a bitch of a line.

JOHN LOCKE LOOKING BALLERRRRRRRR. What whaaat.

Was breaking the wine necessary?

So that episode was WAY melodramatic. It was like a fan version of Lost: too many symbols, too heavy-handed, too self-referential but not in the good way, etc. I do love Alpert, though. So frankly, all is forgiven.

So i am late to the game because i wasn’t going to liveblog, and then Richard was Ricardo and riding a horse.

So I had to.

As the episode is paused, commentary: it apparently is so far Spanish-themed. Hooray? Also, Ricard = muey caliente!

Thank you Jack for finally asking someone to just be honest. Also, your smirk when you responded “Locke’s dead,” was priceless Jack and also made me want to slap you.

With that, I’m pressing play!

So seriously, Ricardo? Spanish? Canary islands? 18what-the-what? Aaaand it’s consumption. Aka, Richard if you leave her she is going to die alone. Ahh, but a souvenir!

Oh, Ricardo. Am I supposed to recognize the evil doctor? Ooooo he is meeeeean. But I honestly am not caring very much right now. I also love Nestor Campbell. I think whatever problems I have with this episode will have nothing to do with him. Oh, youuuu just killed the evil doctor. Whoops. Hm. That’s no good.

Awwwwww, your love is dead, poor Richard. That is the theme of Lost. Aw, oaky, this part is sad. Ooooh he speaks English! Sorta. Awww, Richard is discarded by a priest? Wow, no wonder he thinks he is in Hell. Wow, this is a really bad priest. Can they even do that? I wouldn’t know, I’ve only been to confession once in my life. <-- that was a confession. HAH! See what I did there?

Eeeeeenglish? You totally came over on that ship. Ohhhh, maybe the priest isn’t so terrible.

Aww, what IS terrible is Lost CGI. Also being a slave. Ricardo eyes! EGYPTIAN STATUE!

Huh, I forgot the smoke monster is so old. Question: Why did Jacob bring people to the island if the smoke monster was going to kill them? Or is he/it allowed to kill all non-candidates?

EYE! And definite eyeliner. Oooo butterfly! This is a really long flashback.

EWWWWW Wild boar. Grosssssssss.

Okay, what the hell if Isabella isn’t the smoke monster? I’m confused. Unless she is? Jacob’s touch! It’s life-giving and all. OHHHH Just made that connection with the fountain. Jacob = fountain. Both give life. Possibly- oh. It’s the man in black. Like Richard, also muy caliente. Man in Black is tricky.

OOO… it’s good to see you out of those chains? I should really know who said that line.

Again with the no-talking-only-killing policy.

Man in black is being confusing. He has no body? Also right-wrong divide of choices.

Jacob’s a fighter? Weird. Does that count as touching? Also, Crazy Jacob is weird. He shouldn’t have got that haircut. And that scene was poorly done. This is confusing.

Ohhh I see what they’re doing here. Jacob isn’t a keeper of the island, he’s the keeper of the evil. Wait, that line Jacob said was reeeeally important. Ugh, Jacob SUCKS. He’s like a crappy parent. Has he evolved since this time? Is this like immature whiny Jacob? Also cocky Jacob. HAH inside joke.

JESUS that was a long flashback. Really was it necessary? I guess now we know why the island exists, and what Jacob does, and who Albert is. COME ON- after 200 years the necklace is that easy to find?

Hurley, we all go to hell? Well that’s a bitch of a line.

JOHN LOCKE LOOKING BALLERRRRRRRR. What whaaat.

Was breaking the wine necessary?

Steve, on Recon

I WANT SAWYER AND MILES TO HAVE THEIR OWN CRIME-FIGHTING SPINOFF. OHMYGOD HOW AMAZING WOULD THAT BE?!

Um that said, there was absolutely nothing wrong with this episode and everything right with it, except for that scene when James tried to bring the sunflower to Charlotte, because HELLO, they might be in a different reality but we all know that someday sometime in the future he's gonna be all having coffee with Juliet and need to apologize for something and try that and now it won't be as adorable. That's a lie. It will still be as adorable.

...I would write more coherent things about Widmore/NotLocke, but, a) who am I kidding, and b) I'm *so* distracted by the incredibleness that was Miles and Sawyer as detective partners that I can't focus on the actual island plot for more than a few minutes. Seriously, Best. Idea. Ever.

Oh, one thing: Sawyer's timeline doesn't seem to have changed that much except that he made a different choice at the "turn out to be a criminal or a cop" juncture. Was that influenced by Jacob not having talked him out of burning the letter at his parents funeral? Like, was his anger made slightly less because of his not having a physical object to carry around to focus his anger on? Because he still has the folder full of evidence. Also probably not being a con man would make him way less angry and self-loathing and "I became the man I was hunting-how terribly poetic"-y....but my point is twofold: (and like all things in Lost, when I say "point," I mean "question"): 1) Why was his timeline so much less altered than the other characters? and 2) Are the characters actually the same *people* in both realities? Like, Sawyer's "I reached a point in my life where I could be a criminal or I cop. I chose cop" speech was probably applicable to both realities, only in the other one he chose criminal. The island having blown up in 1977 can't have impacted his life so much that he had enough different experiences to chose the other option, could it? Is he actually a slightly different, dare I say better, version of himself? This is similar to something I was thinking about in the last episode...in either reality, Ben is Ben, right? But in one reality he sacrificed his daughter for the Island, and in the other, he wouldn't sacrifice her well being for his own self-advancement. Of course the difference is that with the Ben situation, the Island is obviously involved, and the stakes were different in the different realities (survival on the island vs. promotion to principal), but it still seems like the alternate reality characters aren't quite carbon copies of the first reality characters. They're slightly better people who make better decisions. And I'm not convinced that would have happened naturally had the island blown up in 1977.

Scott's Dr. Linus Liveblog

Hi all!

Scott here, undistracted by chemistry and watching the episode on an HD television. Very exciting!

Hey at least we're watching Jacob die for the millionth time instead of Juliet in the "previously on..."

Yup, that's one angry smoke monster.

Hah I love Michael Emerson. Run, Ben, run!

I wonder if Alex is his daughter in this reality too.

Yay, band of followers!

Elba....where Napolean was exiled. I see what you're doing with this parallel, Lost writers.

Douchebag of a principal. Dr. Linus!

Arzt! I forget you exist periodically.

Ohhh Ben's gonna run for Principal, isn't he.

With Locke's backing. Yup. I see what you're doing with this parallel.

The whole flash sideways thing--it's making me (and I'm guessing the audience as a whole) support all of the characters, no matter what terrible things they've ...

pause, the ash is Jacob's body!

Ohhhh Ben this is not going to go well for you. Unless Miles lies? .....nope, no such luck Ben. Sorry.

.....well played, Miles, well played (re: repeating Ben's "well he was standing over the body with a bloody dagger, so yeah, I'm pretty sure).

Ohhhh no, Ben, do NOT get tied up in Daddy issues in this show. That's a bad call. Not that you made the call.

Lost letters!

Ben, you're...you're still following them? Are you sure that's a good idea?

Oh Miles, I love you snarky sarcasm.

Haha Frank your sarcasm is great too!

Okay Tania Raymonde's name just came up in the credits. Ohhhh Ben's dad and his daddy issues. That's not good.

....is his dad encouraging in this universe? WAIT WHAT. THE ISLAND...THE DHARMA INITIATIVE HAPPENED BUT BEN AND HIS DAD ... LEFT? I assume in the evacuation? That's when time split right, so everything before it would have had to have still happened the same way.

Alex! AWWW SHE'S ONE OF HIS STUDENTS. AWWW.

(In a sidenote: I really don't think I look that much like her...at all. Just saying.)

Okay, so candidates are candidates to replace Jacob.

...."If you're the one selected, I imagine you'll find out." Yay, cryptic things.

Jack it's weird to me that you're in this episode. I feel like you've been significant in every episode so far.

.....weird background music, I say.

RICHARD. HI!

Sorry was Jack's response to Hurley: "at least he's not stalling?" or "at least he's not Stalin"? I couldn't tell.

Uh oh uh oh uh oh uh oh......okay the magic of Lost: I'm still rooting for Ben not to die and to get a happy ending EVEN THOUGH I THINK HE'S BEEN A TERRIBLE PERSON SINCE SEASON 3.

....ohhhhh no this is not going to go well. This is creepy.

You know what else is creepy? The ad about the plumbers.

Question: What's the deal with Rousseau and Alex in this timeline? Would Rousseau never have gotten stranded on the Island in the first place? When did she crash, again? It was the 80s right? So she just never would have crashed in the first place. Huh.

Ughhh poor Ben. I'm so sorry. Even though you did kill off all of those people including your father and Jacob in this timeline.

Why did Miles....wait pause, are Nikki and Paolo going to become relevant?

Ohhhhh Miles, you and your guilttrips.

Ilana, you are one not happy character that I still do not care about.

"No, I'm not a cyborg," says Alpert helpfully.

"Jacob? What do you know about him?"
"I know he's dead," Alpert says cryptically.

WHOA ALPERT JUST TOLD HURLEY NOT TO BELIEVE ANYTHING JACOB SAID.

WAIT DOES ALPERT JUST WANT TO GO HOME TOO? WTFRAK IS GOING ON???

Hahaha Arzt is angry and bitter no matter what reality he's in.

The black rock? What is the significance of the black rock to you, Mr. Richard Alpert?

Awww Alpert you're having an identity crisis, and I get it, but I don't think Jack and Hulrey are your....JACK WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Okay. I'm kinda with Jack in the whole "answers, please" game.

Does Jaob having touched so many of the Oceanic 815ers mean they have immortal life too? Is that how they survived the plane crash in the first place?

Wow lots of faith, Jack.

Yup. Well placed faith, I suppose.

Are they going back to the beach? Can everyone just please meet up at the beach? I want a Sun/Jin reunion, plz.

HOLY CRAP IT'S NOTLOCKE.

Huh, liking NotLocke slightly more. HAHAHA AND NOW EVEN MORE. THAT WAS FRAKKING AWESOME, NOTLOCKE. I really, really, really wanna make a Charmed reference, actually, because his hand motion when undoing the Locke lock was totally like the one Pru used when she used her powers to undo locks.

AWWW IS LOCKE GOING TO SACRIFICE HIS SCHEME FOR ALEX? OMG I HOPE HE DOES BUT I DON'T THINK HE WILL.

Can someone please give Michael Emerson an emmy? Like, right now?

OH BEN. I JUST WANNA HUG YOU RIGHT NOW AND I DON'T EVEN....OHMYGOD. THIS BEN/ILANA SCENE WAS EASILY MY FAVORITE SCENE OF THE SEASON. So well done.

Holy frak how is this so close to over already?

Also, the weird thing about the flash sideways (although don't get me wrong, I love them) is that in the first season, you knew that characters were basing current decisions on the past experiences that the flashbacks portrayed (and usually growing in a positive direction, see Sawyer and the boar Jack counting backwards from 5, etc.), whereas in the last few seasons, with the flashforwards, it's been a "this is them based on the events of the past that you're watching right now," and you had to kinda guess to fill in the middle, with these flash sideways it's kind of a combination of both but in a weird way...like, this Ben situation is directly parallel to his life on the island...to sacrifice Alex for a bigger cause or not to? In this reality, he chose Alex over the bigger cause but on the island in the other reality he didn't...but the two events aren't actually connected in any way, they're two different Bens. It's interesting.

I'm pretty afraid right now, PS.

Miles sure found those diamonds, alright. Not quite sure what that means.

Aww, Ilana, I like you more. A lot more.

I WANT A SUN AND JIN REUNION. SUN AND HURLEY IS SWEET AND ALL BUT *COME ON*.

w.t.f.?

WIDMORE? WTF?? I FORGOT YOU EXISTED DURING THIS WHOLE JACOB/MAN IN BLACK THING.


Um what a weird song choice for the next week episode. OMG SAWYER!

Lost you have too many characters, I didn't even realize Sawyer wasn't in this episode until just now.

Arright, that's it until next week....

Verdict: Excellent episode.

Sundown.

A few days late, but here I am.

Previously, on Lost. Saayiiiiddddddd. I wonder if we'll figure out what happened to claire in this episode. She was badass.

Oh hey, Sayid with flowers. Hard to remember that this isn't a flashback. Or flashforward. Just... to her. Awww, Nadya. AW NADYA. I'm sorry for you.

BAHHHH CHILDREN. NOOOOO NADYA. AHHHHHHHH TRAGEDY. SAYID, I AM SO SORRY FOR YOU. AHHHHHHH. SO SAD. This is going to take me a while to get over.

Have I ever mentioned that I love Sayid's accent? It's so... reassuring. So no ponypail off-island? Bummer. Awkward, kiddo: leave the photo where it was. Also, Sayid's brother is a coward. Remember the chicken? Not a good idea.

Also he looks better in a tank top. Oh god, another scale metaphor? well, not a metaphor. Just... blatant symbolism. Or whatever.

Aw, Sayid, you're a good man? Well, you do kick ass. This is a pretty long fight sequence for LOST. Also it's making my head hurt. Stop being so jerky, camera.

SAYID SAYID SAYID. Okay, wtf is with the baseball? Isn't that one of the objects young Locke was presented with?

HEY CLAIRE. YAY. The bad guys are way more exciting than the good guys.

Wow, again, all that as a teaser?

So did Sayid not interrogate Nadya then? And nothing lifke some good emotional blackmail. I wonder if you still do habitat for humanity in alternate-reality. Which I still don't understand how it eists.

HEY MILES. What're you doing on the island and in the temple?

Woah, Sayid was dead for two hours? That's fucked up.

I'm really curious about the japanese guy. Also Claire said white line. Oh hey, subtitles! Thanks producers. Also that look Sayid just gave japanese guy was awesome. He basically rolled his eyes.
Ooo, man in black explanation time?? No, just murder time. Oh Sayid, your response is awesome. GOD I wish people would just explain things. I forgot that this gets so obnoxious. Seriously, people, JUST SHARE.

Oh shit, yo brother's

JACK!

awesome cameo. That was awesome. Sayid, listen to Nadya please. But also I kinda don't want you to kill the man in black. Too good a character.

KATE, WHAT THE HELL? "Are you leaving?" I just paused my video so i could rant about how obnoxious I find you. Seriously, you must have a brain.

Why is the temple now so easy to get in and out of? Confused. Did they miss the main door?

Lol Miles. Love you. Oh, hey, I forgot that Kate is looking for Claire. LOL Miles. I guess this is why you're here: when Hurley's at the lighthouse, you're New Hurley.

Smoke monster time!!!!! ... Or others time?? So too late, I guess. He spoke. Sayid, follow directions. Now you just pissed off NotLocke. Bad idea, generally speaking. God I love NotLocke. Not that I believe or trust him, I just think he's awesome.

Sayid, you're being like Jack now. That was a shitty shitty line. Bad call writers.

Wow, Claire is inSANE. Uh oh, Kate, bad choice. BAD choice. Claire is going to kiillll you. No, no no, Kate, stop.

Ooo, Sayid, you're claim of not being evil is fading.

The thing about off-island world, is that even if it's not perfect, it's normal. no jacob,

OH HEY. WHATS HIS NAME. K... Kinney? Fucking weirdo. KEAMEY. Your nam e is Martin? And you're from... what, Queens? Or maybe Brooklyn? Also clearly didn't do his research that Sayid was in the Republican Guard. Um, Sayid?

UM WHAT IS IN THE CLOSET? Please be Sawyer. Or JIN? How did you ever get through customs?

Okay, japanese man, lay it on the table please. Also, the baseball is creepy. Ah, now it is explained. your son who also plays the piano? Ouch, drunk driving killed your son. I also keep typing sun.

So jacob is a healer? Who makes people leave their family behind? Um, Sayid? That makes his guy's role pretty short. Oh well, too bad he can't just speak in cryptic phrases and be annoying. Lennon, does that mean you're in charge? NO HE DOESNT REALIZE WHAT HE JUST DID, BECAUSE NO ONE IS EXPLAINING.

Aaaand yup, Sayid's evil. Smoke monster destruction time. This episode is weirdly action packed and Um, that means Kate is going to die. Miles, are you about to do something important??? That would be nice. BEN! HI! You're gonna die. Um Kate, are you going to die? That would be weird.

Oh yeah, Sun. Is Ben going to die? That would suck. I still don't quite understand... well, most things. Sigh. Oh Lost. I think that look from Locke means that Kate is not important.

There's a war a-comin'.

Scott on Sundown

And here I thought this was going to be a Sun and Jin episode, you know, because, pun?

Um:

The good:

-I like Kate again! Though who knows what the frak she's in for now.

-Miles is awesome

-Sun knows that Jin is (probably) alive and around?

-Lostpedia is excellent.

The bad:

-Me watching this episode went something like "WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF. OMG SAYID DON'T BE SO FREAKING SELF-LOATHING. YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS THAT SELF-LOATHING? SAWYER. YOU KNOW HOW WELL THAT WORKED OUT FOR HIM? NOT VERY." and "UGHHHHHH SERIOUSLY? WTF."


The verdict: I WANT MORE ANSWERS. NOW, PLZ. Anyway next week appears to be a Ben episode, so that should be good.

Still loving the show, despite my complaints.

Sorry for the brevity of this post, chem homework calls...

The Lighthouse: Liveblog

Back Again! It's great when you miss episodes cause then you don't have to wait long for new ones. And duh, spoilers. Here we go:

previously, on Lost: lots of stuff. It's kinda making me feel like the last three episodes were pointless and Ithat nothing at all happened. Good times.

AND computer freeze. Sigh.Well that is a nice photo of Jack and Dad. Also Jack, whatever happened to your neck? Oh, you have another scar? Or wound? Can't be good. Apendicitis? Didn't that happpen on the island? Juliet did it? It was a weird plot twist that I didn't much care for? Yeah, think so.

Damn Jack you look good. But who the fuck is David? Your son? OMG JACK IF YOURE MARRIED TO JULIET IMMA BE PISSED>


"Is leaving an option?" Stupid Jack. Um, awesome forest tic-tac-tow game. LOVE Miles and Hurley. LOVE them.OH he Jacob.Like so much.

Wow that was an intensely informative teaser.

Hey David. Sup. You look like Jack with long hair. Also you're moping like jack mopes. AND HES STILL A SOX FAN. So at least we know it isnt bizarro land. Yay Alice in Wonderland reference!!! Ouch, David is amn ass.J

Ooo sayid. Are you evil yet??

EWWWWWW Jin's foot. Ewwwwwwwww gross. Claire looks like a pineer. um still ew. still really ew.STILL EW. Jin, gross.

Hurley, you would write on your arm. So while he's looking, who do you think is coming to the island? Who is not there? Also I love new Hurley. SO MUCH. Anyone speak Japanese? Jacob apparently.

Aw Jacob are you going to tell jack that he has to save someone?
Or his dad? Or Claire? AWWW. you have what it takes? That's precious, probably. It's jack-childhood time, I think.

Owie Jin. owie owie owie. AND EW. Lost stop with the blood, please. Um, wow, Claire is CRAZY. Wow. fake- baby? shit shit shit. WEIRD WEIRD WEIRD.

Um, how is that guy not dead? was he not shot in the head? Claire don't manhandle justin! Wow you really are Rousseau. Interesting fact: Claire is also a french name. What's her last name in lost-land? Aw, Hurley is going to be sad.

Wow diss by kate-- JAck is rejected. Also, Jack, lesson number one: you live on a magic island. Lesson number two: when living on said magic island, follow the directions of mysterious invisible men. Usually. Lesson number three: ignore Kate.

Ohh will time!!!! Guess: Jack gets nothing. Claire gets everything. CORRECT! HOPE FOR THE WIN. +100 LOST points.

Justin I'm not liking you. EW EW GROSS CLOSEUP ON THE WOUND. EWEW AGAIN. Poor hurt Jin. So who's the friend? Man in Black? Claire please don't disembowel Justin.

Ew look at all the bugs in the shot with Hurley and jack. Ick. Jack stop having daddy issues. WOW an inhalor. Shannons? OH THE CAVES. EW DEAD BODIES. SDon't be so nonchalant about them, Hurley. Also your time travel theories are confusing, but wrong. OH RIGHT you saw Dr. Shepard. Aka... what? Who is it now? Jack your daddy issues are kinda boring. Let's go back to Claire.

So pause: Locke is clearly different from Shepard and Claire because his body is still around whereas the other two's bodies are missing. Hm, so what gives?

So, question: who's the mother? Aw Jack are you a good dad? That would be sweet. HAH Hurley. Old school: traipsing through the jungle, on our way to do something we don't understand, good times. AKA my favorite line thus far.

Hurley why're you wearing a red shirt? Dislike. Just a side note as Jack is about to give some stupid speech about how much he hates the island. OOO new statue!!! ... Or a lighthouse. Good question Jack. So the lighthouse is the room of requirement?

Um Jin? You going to say something? Ohhhh branded, huh? Uh oh. UH OH. Jin? Jin, you're not explaining this well. Can you say how Kate found him abandoned and couldn't find you? No? Not going to happen? ... K.

UM EW LOST WHY THE BLOOD AND THE CHOPPING?!?!

Dude Jack that was awesome. You should kick down doors more, it suits you.Also if you fuck this up for your son, seriously, it just means Cuse and Lindleson hate you fo realz. Little boy I find you CREEPY AND ITS THE WEIRD JAPANESE GU. THE PONYTAIL IS A DEAD GIVEAWAY. WEIRD WEIRD WEIRD.

Dude this set is awesome. Also the names are weird. And the mirror is weird. This is a little overwrought, no? Whole whole reflection thing? Very disney. Also very harry potter, whats the name of that mirror? yeah, harry potter. Jack, it's just a magic figure, I don't know how he knows things but he does. Um, k, Jack is STUPID. But then I think Jacob must have known he was going to do that, unless he's stupid too. Which of course is a possibility. and with that bit, I think we've seen all there is in the original trailer for the season. Nice.

Jack don't yell at your son, please. Or guilt-trip him. Your son will do that enough for you without your help. This is mildylcute, though. Shepard-love and all. Jack, you don't suck as a dad, look! and you're a hot dad... cause that's relevent to this scene, I promise...

Aw Hurley you have pen on your face. JINX JACOB JINX! THAT WAS AWESOME. +10000 POINTS!!!! Awesome. Awesome. Jacob, you couldn't have told Locke how important he was? I think that II like the man in black better....

HEY LOCKE WHATS UP!!! You're the friend. DUHZVILLE.

Hm, this episode. So, I actually kind of liked it. A lot of it was obvious, but I liked it! I don't know, I guess it was nothing more than an entertaining hour of TV. I don't feel particularly bad or good about it. And I guess "meh" isn't that good. But I love Hurley. Also, Lost, please actually USE Miles instead of just having him be asian Hurley. But then, rereading what I wrote, I disliked parts-- the lighthouse itself, the magic mirror, jack's self absorbtion and silly rants... hmm. Maybe it was crummy afterall. Not, but still. I can't defend it as being good, but it was was inoffensive. Come on, Claire was awesome.

Liveblogging: Lighthouse

Spoilers follow, and since I didn't open this window until one second before the first big twist, they follow fairly immediately.

WTF JACK HAS A SON?!?! NAMED DAVID?!?! LIKE DESMOND'S MIDDLE NAME DAVID??!? WHO'S THE MOTHER? IS IT SARAH? IS IT KATE. OH GOD I HOPE IT'S KATE OVER SARAH. OMG IN THIS UNIVERSE WAS HE MARRIED TO KATE INSTEAD OF HER BEING MAREID TO NATHAN FILLION....no he would have recognized Kate on the plane, right? It must be Sarah's kid.

Oh oh it's back!

Awww, Jack and his red sox love. Seriously, who IS this kid? SERIOUSLY. Lost, why are you so good at being so mind-bending?

Uh oh Sayid. You're gonna get sick. Like, really not good sick. Evil sick.

CLAIRE! You look so rugged. (Also: Jin totally was in the last episode getting caught by Claire's trap, so the nymag reporter who interviewed Daniel Dae Kim and claimed he wasn't was totally wrong.)

Claire doesn't seem particularly evil!

UH OH, JIN JUST COLLAPSED. Not good not good not good.

Huurley, I'm gonna go with stop staring at the hieroglyphics and do whatever Jacob says. Even though I don't trust Jacob. Hahaha, Hurley "You know, 'cuz I'm a big fan of temples...and like, history....Indiana Jones stuff."

See? Here's you doing whatever Jacob says. Jacob looks so unamused right now that I like him even less then I did when I wrote the above paragraph. At the minute, I'm pro-man in black. I'm so gonna regret saying that at some point, though.

Jack. You're.... you're so Jack. I miss Sawyer. And Juliet. And Locke.

Hahaha that's right Jack. MAGIC ISLAND. Learn to embrace it.

Uh oh. Claire's ANGRY. She still doesn't seem EVIL, though. Claire really is Rousseau, only in Rousseau's case, they really WERE hiding her daughter. Claire's son is safe with her mother....

Claire's not alone? Is she with Christian Shephard? I'm scared. Very scared.

Kate! I fully support you in your quest to find Claire, especially because you know where Aaron really is!

JACK YOUR'E FINDING OUT THAT CLAIRE IS YOUR SISTER IN THIS REALITY TOO!!!

Ew, Claire, your hair is ick. I know that's not the point, just saying.

Your....father? Your....friend? Who are you talking about? IS JACK'S DAD THE SICKNESS? AHHHH THIS IS SO WEIRD CLAIRE I'M SORRY BUT PLEASE DON'T HURT THE INNOCENT GUY WHO DOESN'T HAVE YOUR SON AHHHHHHHH.

Jack: "I'd make a terrible dad" I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE, LOST WRITERS.

Shannon's asthma inhaler? Well that's a blast from the past. UM CAN WE GET BACK TO CHARACTERS I CARE ABOUT PLEASE? ....hahahaha I love Hurley's theory. "What if we traveled back to like, dinosaur times, and then we died and got buried here. What if these skeletons are us?"

OH YOU FOUND THAT PLACE FOLLOWING YOUR DAD. WHO IS APPARENTLY THE SICKNESS. WTF DOES THAT MEAN.

I would like to repeat my earlier "I see what you did there, lost writers" comment re: Jack calling his son's cellphone.

OMG HE'S GOING TO THE MOTHER'S HOUSE. CAN IT BE KATE AND NOT SARAH? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE? ...I know that doesn't make any sense. Oh god it's gonna be someone totally unexpected, isn't it. It's gonna be like....Juliet. Someone TOTALLY unexpected. ...um, can we have a hint, Lost writers? Please? Aww Chopin! Good choice, Lost writers. AWWWWWWW he has pictures of him and Jack!

Hurley, I love it when you self-referentially make fun of the show. It's always funny.

Yeah....I'm not loving Jack in this episode.

......wtf is that? The statue/building thing? LIGHTHOUSE. IT'S A LIGHTHOUSE.

"How is it we've never seen it before?" "I guess we weren't looking for it." "That, or the writer's didn't realize that they were going to need it."

Okay, Claire is seeming a little bit more evil.

Aaaand we're back!

Haha @ Jack's "doesn't say anything on your arm about the door being jammed?"

Wow, Jack's kid is talented. I wanna say he's Dan Faraday's kid, only obviously that doesn't make any sense whatsoever.


Well that dude is clearly island dude. Yup. Island dude. I'm not a fan of Island Dude.

SERIOUSLY WHO IS THE MOTHER? THIS IS DRIVING ME INSANE.

Hey it's like How I Met Your Mother, only....it's Lost.

Teehee, 108 degrees. Crossed out names on the wheel? Wtf?

Jack is putting this together awfully quickly.

.....ohhhh Jack. This is exactly why I'm not your biggest fan. Do you KNOW how much you're going to regret that later? Also, that was SO IMPULSIVE AND SO NOT THOUGHT OUT AHEAD. AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE A DOCTOR? DIDNT' THEY TEACH YOU HOW TO THINK BEFORE ACTING? ....I guess we had whole flashback episodes about him accidentally cutting the wrong things, but STILL. Quit being SO ANGRY. You CHOSE to come back to the island and even as a confused, manipulated pawn in a game you don't understand, you're STILL doing better than you were back home being suicidal after you lost Kate. So PLEASE CHILL THE FRAK OUT.

Okay, this V trailer that's Inara/Anna being like "we share in your excitement for the final season of Lost" is pretty cool, gotta admit.

Jack, please find your kid. Awwww yay bonding moment!

Okay, here's what I want from this episode: I want to find out who the mother is, and I want Alternatereality!Jack to meet Alternatereality!Claire.

Uh oh....why do I think that Claire is gonna destroy the temple? With Sayid in it? WtFRAK IS GOING ON. Uh oh, Jin is so screwed right now. I'm scared.

Um, Claire, please don't kill Kate! WTF NOT!LOCKE????

YOU'RE CLAIRE'S FRIEND? WTF???????

ALSO WE DIDN'T FIND OUT WHO JACK'S KID'S MOTHER IS. I'M UPSET. BLEH.

Not a huge fan of this episode, it was nowhere near as good as the last few have been. Still good, though! I'm excited for next week!

Scott's Belated "The Substitute" Post

I'm a week late with this so I'm going to make it short (apologies! )

I loved this episode. I loved how much it made me love Locke, I loved how much it made me love Sawyer, I loved how it didn't show Juliet's death again (which would have been a total 8 times, although Sawyer being sad and throwing the ring into the ocean was kind of just as devastating. If the two of them don't end up together in alternate reality universe, I'm going to cry. Literally).

I love that Locke is happy in alternate universe land! He has Helen! He doesn't have an evil father! He has a job as a high school substitute at a high school where Ben also teaches! (The plot thickens).

I understand why Locke/Helen chose to tear up Jack's business card, but I'm kind of upset, because that storyline would have been AWESOME. (Although maybe it's not over, we'll have to wait and see.) That said, Alternateuniverse!Locke would have gone, I think, because he would have wanted to take a leap of faith in hope of a cure. Of course, Alternateuniverse!Locke also alienated Helen and had a horrible life, so I shouldn't complain.

Random observation: Is it just me, or are the episodes so far following the characters in the same order that season one did? (Like, started with general flashback, followed by Kate-centric, followed by Locke-centric) I glanced at imdb and it looks like it's going to continue like that for a while, but maybe I'm wrong. Anyone?

The Substitute: Liveblog and Thoughts

Next episode! Spoilers if you're Scott and are too busy producing a show to watch Lost.

ooh, the teaser is making me think that boone might be in this episode! well, i can dream right?

Oh, poor Locke. A broken van and sprinklers?? Why do they have to humiliate him like this??

AWWWWW HELEN! Does this mean that Locke is happy?! Oh I hope so.

Woah smoke monster moves fast. Please leave sawyer alone. please. um, thanks?

Wait, so maybe locke isn't happy...

JESUS WHO IS THAT CHILD?!?!?!?! Lost, i'm watching this alone in my room, don't be scary and bloody please.

Ben!! HI!! Don't lie. Nor Jacob nor anyone else will like that, it can't be good for you. Dude, I'm pretty excited about sawyer joining not-locke. Epic.

"Here's to being dead!" Love you sawyer. Thank you for FINALLY REALIZING that you live on a GOD DAMN MAGIC ISLAND.

Um, EW dead locke witb a giant spider on your head. ewwww. And thank you sun for wanting to bury locke. thank you someone for realizing that Locke MEANT something and WAS important.

Rose! Sorry for a big gap in my summarizing, I got distracted by the plot.

Of Mice and Men? fitting.

Wow, the graveyard. Well placed! It proves to Ilana that maybe the survivors did go through something, I think I like it, well done Lost.

"Man of Faith." Thank you Ben for realizing that Locke was a great man, dammit. Also I love Frank. But why is he here?

I think that Locke is not very happy in this life either, especially once Helen finds out that he lied. Or maybe not? Aw, this is so sweet.

Um Lost? Remember our agreement that Sawyer doesn't die? Well i'm terrified of ladders, so let's make a deal that Sawyer doesn't die AND it's not on a ladder. OR the rope ladder. SHITSHITSHITSHIT. Well that was terrifying.

Lol at the inside joke comment.

Um what? Jacob's list. With the numbers? WHAT?

BEN WHAT BEN WHAT BEN WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK! You would be an ASShole of a teacher, and teach european history.

Anyone else thinking about Buffy and the potentials??

Lol at the thing for numbers. Wait, so the sun and jin numbers might be wrong? Also why is Locke's name not crossed out? Also why isn't Kate's name on the list? Miles? Jin/Sun? Or is that just a mistake? Um, also how did jacob manipulate sawyer when he was so young?

Okay, so this was kind of a bad liveblog, but I think that's because I liked this episode a LOT. A lot a lot. I love Locke, so that helps. And I love when LOST is funny and makes stupid jokes. And when Ben has great lines, and his eulogy was some of the best.

And with that, I remember why I liked this show so goddamn much.

What Kate Does: Liveblog and Thoughts

okay, so because of my 10-day vacation, I'm two episodes behind. So again a double post from this side of the ocean. As always, spoilers, but not really cause it's two weeks old.

Also my computer is making a horrible whirring noise? Hm, can't be good, especially when there is not a single apple store in France. Yes, all of France. The closest one is in switzerland.

So, LOST:

Thank god you didn't show Juliet dyin AGAIN in the recap. But we do get to watch Sayid die. GOD I missed Lost.

Ooo cool necklace japanese guy. Also, I think sayid is no longer sayid which makes me sad.Ddi yuo just call KJAck John? rewind! Answer: No.

Also, I'm eating dinner as I watch this, so I'm not going to be writing as much. HEY CLAIRE!! Are you pregnant? KAte don't be mean to Claire.Wow, Kate, your escape attempt kind of sucks. I think i said this last time too. Poor Claire. Who is indeed pregnant. Oh hey, Sayid's wound is gone.

myles! i hope you get an episode this season.

Oooo maybe sayid living means that Jacob is still kind of alive!!

FUCK YEAH SAWYER. LOVE YOU. aww you're so sad. please dont die. Either real-dead of locke-dead OR sayid-dead. Stay con

OMG! THAT GUY! Wait, that guy died. I thought it was one of the mercenaries. Neeever mind

Wait, do you think this episode will make me like Kate? Shit, it might. THATS RIGHT YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD STEALING FROM A PREGNANT LADY.

I'm liking Jack a bit more too. Not sure why, exactly, just somehow is powerlessness is endearing.

Aaaaand here's the torture scene? White ash? Are they expelling the smoke demon from him? Or just... hurting him? STOP BEING SILENT JAPANESE MAN!!! Jesus, STOP HURTING SAYID. You're making me use too many capital letters.

Soooo, I guess it really is Sayid and not the smoke monster? In that case, whaaaaat?

Wait, what? Kate, don't try to make nice with the lady whose head you held a gun to. I love Claire. I forgot how much i loved claire.

Wow, the others extras are going to die. Justin, you're my new favorite.

Um, I am loving the idea that extras are coming back. Also, bye bye Justin. Too bad, you might have said something useful, but no.

Infected? Oh Jack, a fever? really? have you ever, oh i don't know, LIVED ON A MAGICAL ISLAND???

This all seems very alice in wonderland to me. Maybe that's just what magic pills make me think of.

Also, I believe the others. But then, I've ALWAYS believed the others. kinda.

Aw, see jack, people DO trust you. I apparently trust everyone, seeing as I trust the others.

Also the Claire and Kate thing is weird. Aaand my itunes froze? Dammit. Okay, it's back. Poor Claire. Keep yo baby aaron, please.

aw, kate, i might kind of like you. Aw, poor claire and poor random woman. oh shit, oh shit, WAIT AWW KATE IS STILL GOING TO DELIVER YOUR BABY AWWW.

poor sawyer. wait, am i supposed to know what that thing in the shoebox is?

AWWWW AARON!! She knew the name. Aw, little guy.

Is dr. goodspeed someone i should know? OH WAIT ITS ETHAN. RIGHT? I think so. So Juliet is off the island too, right? None of it EVER happened, including the dharma initative? Wait I'm confused.

Aw, sawyer. god i forgot you are such a good actor. Oh, so that's what was in the box. Poor sawyer, this is horrible.

JAck, I wish you didn't walk away all the time. But then almost swallowing the pill was kind of baller. So why do they want sayid dead?

Aw claire, you are SO CUTE. you're giving a fugitive your credit card.

Claimed? So sayid is the smoke monster too. Boo. God dammit Lost, you can't do this to my favorite characters. they don't deserve to die like this.

AW CLAIRE. You've been claimed? Bummer.

OW Jin. Ow.

Woah. WOAH. CLAIRE? WHAT IS REAL?

Oh wait, it totally makes sense. Whatever's "claimed" claire also claimed rousseau, so rousseau's traps are actually claire's traps.

So I really liked this episode; it was a nice change of pace from LAX. That one was way too much stuff and information and mystery but nothing about the characters. Reading Scott's thoughts, I agree it was very season one. Also, it went a long way at making me like kate, which is hard to do. And Jack seems to be important to the island and to everyone else, which feels right. It's where I think the series needs to go. For me, jack has always been the foundation of the show.

Okay, next episode!

What Kate Does

As always, spoiler alerts if you live in France and haven't seen the episode yet.

Okay, not gonna lie, this episode was AWESOME.

It felt like Lost season 1- the flash sideways feel like flashbacks, and they made me care about the characters again. (Poor Claire! And Kate! You are likable again!)

Actually, I find Kate likable in any situations where she's interacting with either Claire or Aaron. Or Claire's mother. I was about to say "actually, with anyone related to Claire," but I guess that includes Jack and I don't find Kate particularly likable when she's in scenes with Jack, despite my supporting them as a couple.

Anyway, it felt like season 1--the flashes made me cry, there were two relatively slow moving plots that were easy to follow (I mean ish, it is Lost, after all)--the Jack/Sayid/to take the pill or not plot and the Kate/Sawyer plot (honestly, did anyone think Kate wasn't going to follow Sawyer from the second he announced he was leaving? No one? Yup that's what I thought....although actually the show knew it was predictable too and responded accordingly, with Sawyer's snarky "which time?" when Kate apologized for coming after him when she shouldn't have.), and it ended with a plot twist--Claire has the sickness! And looks like Rousseau! Whose traps also featured prominently in this episode! Yay shout outs to season one and two!

Seriously, amazing episode. I can't wait for next week (although I always tend to like Kate-centric episodes the best, along with Sawyer and Juliet ones, so we'll see who flashes next week and how it compares. I should probably know whose flash it is from somewhere like lostpedia but whatever. I will figure it out.)

Real Thoughts: LAX pt. 1 and 2

Bonjour! It's Steve, blogging form France. So after a very upsetting 48-odd hours in which my iTunes season pass ONLY DOWNLOADED PART TWO AND WOULDN'T LET ME GET PART ONE AND I HAD TO WAIT UNTIL THURSDAY TO WATCH THIS, I finally am caught up. Ahem. It was a stressful period.

Hm. So I have to say I was a little disappointed. I found these episodes to be, more or less, two hours of pointless exposition. The first hour, especially, I felt could have been condensed into maybe 20 minutes. A few camera shots around the plane, the scene with Charlie-- would we really have missed much else? I would've missed Arzt. And, according to nymag, I missed Frogurt, too.

I was also disappointed with the way they did Juliet's death. On principle, I hate the "i have something important to tell you but whoops I'd dead now" line. It just felt cheap and not worthwhile. It was just a little to cliché and neat-- she dies right after Sawyer kisses her? Meh. I guess part of it was that we saw her "die" (hit the bomb) about SIX TIMES before she actually died, so the emotion just wasn't there.

I agree with Scott that the best scene by FAR was of Locke and Jack in the airport. It was nice to see the show realize that these two characters are the ones we're rooting for, and hopefully this hints that the show will return to this. I kind of saw this scene as showing just how far Jack rose (right after the crash) and now has fallen back (the plan didn't work, trying to revive Sayid, etc.).

As far as the man in black not being a villain, I agree. I think the show has really moved past good and bad. I think that's what the black/white, good/evil divide will boil down to: there are no such harsh divisions in life. Your life has paths, and there are good things and bad things along each the way no matter what you do.

Another word on Locke. I think my live blog showed just how much I LOVE Locke as a character. But I will be incredibly disappointed if they do not give Real Locke some kind of closure. I cried through "The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham"-- Locke was just alone, back in a wheelchair, refused by all his friends. Then he dies, confused and alone? No no no. I don't want that to be the last time we see Real Locke.

Not incidentally, if Terry O'Quinn doesn't get an emmy, there are no gods, Egyptian or otherwise.

LAX pt. 2

Incoherent Liveblog of LAX pt. 2

Daylight again? Oh God, I can’t watch Sawyer bury Juliet. OR Sayid.

OH maybe they can save Juliet? Oh, maybe not. OH GOOD IDEA SAWYER, Myles can help. Miles. Myles? Myles looks better. Ohh memories of watching Lost in Myles! Awww.

Um, doesn’t the smoke monster come out of there? Also, in the trailer the asian man tortures Sayid in the temple. Just sayin’ maybe it’s not a good idea.

Awww dead cute Frenchman. HAH Hurley. Is that the hole Ben fell into? OR is this a different temple?

…whispers…

I also forgot how stressful Lost is. WHISPERSWHISPERS KATE. Um, Kate??? Whaaaaaaaaat is going on. You also shouldn’t split up like this. Have you never seen a horror movie? Honestly people. Hurly, open that guitar case please.

HI BEN. Oh, in slow rewind, verified: Not Ben.

Kate, what are you doing? Seriously, Kate? Really?

Woah. God, that guy dies any way, doesn’t he.

Heeeeyyyy Sawyer. God, I LOVE you. Always. No matter what. Aw, I love you SO much.

Others? Guess so? Or a monestary of Jacob followers? Guessing there’s a third group on the island?

Oooh I BET CHRISTIAN SHEPAD IS LIKE A GOD OR SOMETHING. OO IS CLAIRE GOING TO BE AROUND?

WOAH! Stewardess?? WHAT?

Dude. Please let the note say “They’re with me."

I love new confident Hugo. I’ll call him Hugo.

Are these the people that Jacob touched?

Aw, I hate old Jin. Does Sun speak English? I can’t remember. Ohhhhhh, JIN. Sun does speak English, doesn’t she. Aw, Sun.

What the HELL is going on. Monestary? There are children. And a third God? OH I get it. This is a healing spring, that’s what healed Rose, Locke, there’s a cult of everlasting life because of a magic spring. It’s the fountain of youth. Way to mis EVERY MYTHOLOGY EVER LOST. What’s next, Cinderella?

Haha Jack you would answer Hurley’s rhetorical question.

I’m so confused, Lost. You also just killed my two favorite characters in the span of 40 minutes. If you kill Sawyer I--

Jack, sweetheart, the CPR on Sayid was really endearing. I’m so sorry for you right now.

Kate seriously you didn’t just take the cab from the random extra? Cause REALLY? Actually, you totally would do that. Way to be an awesome and crappy criminal at the same time.

CLAIRE! YAY!

Zach! Emma! Are these the Others? AW Sawyer!!! SERIOUSLY LOST IF YOU HURT SAWYER.

God Hurley, I looooooove you.

Okay, doesn’t the giant flare also kinda show your position? Maybe?

Teehee New-Locke. “I’m not a what Ben, I’m a who!”

Aw I REALLY miss Locke. I HATE New-Locke. Stop using his body. Locke was a great man.

Okay, so the monster didn’t attack Locke that one time, and also didn’t attack Eko that one other time. What’s up with that? Think they’ll explain?

Sideways flash. Weird. Really weird. AW Jack. Jack, meet John.

Oh, my, God. If Richard Alpert dies, I am going to FREAK THE FUCK OUT.

Chains? Jacob chains in the cabin chains? Or Egyptian slave chains?!

RICHARD ALPERT! LOST SERIOUSLY THESE ARE MY FAVORITES. Okay I know he might be just knocked out but seriously not acceptable. There are too many dead Losties on the island.

Oh, Jack, stop asking for it.

Um, um, UM WHAT.

Okay, questions. Where is Christian Shepard? Where is Claire? Who is the glasses- man? Where is Desmond? Is Juliet really dead? I thought she had 4 episodes…

Is Hurley new-Jacob?

Also, I REALLY miss Locke. I do think he was (is) one of the most interesting characters, and I hope his character development hasn’t been totally given up just for the plot. It just doesn’t seem fair.

ALSO, way to fuck up Juliet’s death. It was just so cheesy and… I don’t know. It felt unnecessary. Couldn’t she just have died and Miles could’ve still “read” her body? Or… I don’t know. Thoughts?

I was also severely underwhelmed by the first hour of this. It was just like… exposition! Look everyone, they’re still alive! Their world sucks!!

So is Sayid really dead? Or is he now Not-Sayid like Not-Locke? Via trailer Sayid is alive, cause he’s gonna get tortured

LAX pt. 1

Okay, incoherent lost recap for LAX pt. 1, to be followed by incoherent LAX pt. 2 recap. Spoilers if you haven't seen, duh.

Watching the previously on lost. Don’t really want to Watch juliet die again, please.

WHITE SCREEN. Forgot how exciting that was.

Woah. ?

Damn jack looks good in high definition.

AHHH This is SO weird. SO weird.

Okay also watching this is really making me not want to fly ever again.

Good thing watching it late—REWIND! What did Rose say? You’ve got to go now? Nope, just the same, you can let go now.

Also does this mean that Rose and Bernard aren’t on the island any more with the dog? I miss that. Also does Rose still have cancer now? Wiat this is bad. Boo.

WHAT IS THAT JACK. JACK WHAT.

HI DESMOND. WHY ARE YOU HERE? You were never here. I am so confused. How many times am I going to say that this episode?

Uuuunderwater. Dory fish!

And the island sunk? It’s Atlantis? Oh lost, I forgot how BAD your CGI is.

God, Juliet has to die again? Haven’t we been tortured enough?

JUUULIET!!!! Oh no, it’s Kate. IN a tree. Sounding muffled. Is that her or the computer? … Her.

Oh hey miles!! WOAH.

OMG SAWYER. Oh it’s Jack. What is my problem with identifying characters??

Okay, question. How are they not all dead from the blast?

OH HEY SAWYER! Good for you! Thanks for hitting Jack. I think he kind of needed it.

This is weird. I dislike the parallel universe thing. A lot.

HI BIZARRO SAWYER. You look better not covered in blood. You look really good.

OH it’s that guy. What was his name? ARZT. Good thing I spent HOURS on Lostpedia this week.

Hurley! Are the numbers no longer cursed? … I guess so. What bizzaro land is this? Is Sawyer like a saint or something?

OMG I FORGOT SAYID GOT SHOT. IS HE DEAD? WHAT?

Thanks Sawyer for asking the question I asked before.

OMG JULIET! JULIET!!!!! JUUUUUUULIET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JULIETPLEASEDONTBEDEADEVER.

Also Sayid. Both of you can’t die. SAYID YOU CANT DIE. Aw Hurley, you’re adorable. Please be Jacob. YES I WIN!!!!!! +100 Lostpoints.

God I love watching this without commercials.

Awww, I hope Jin and Sun are happy in this life. Guess not. So basically, who’s life wasn’t better by being on the island?

HEY LOCKE. BOONE!!!!!!! Is this jocular Locke or old Locke? Can you walk? So is Shannon not on the plane? That cause Maggie Grace didn’t wanna, right? Locke totally can walk. Wow. What.

Um Jacob burned fast? Aw, Ben. I forgot just how much I loved you in that last scene when you killed Jacob. You were SO good.

GOD I also love Richard Alpert. And Sawyer.

JACOB SAVE HIM. HAHAH I LOVE HURLEY.

OMG CHARLIE! WHAT. CHARLIE. NO. WHAT.

See, you should have never have left the island, everbody. Although Charlie does just die anyways. But still, he meets Claire. And Aaron.

Hey it’s Boone’s pen!!! Ew ew ew this is gross. Jesus Charlie, you nearly died by trying to swallow your stash?

Okay without commercials this is harder to keep up since it goes so much faster.

JULIET BE ALIVE. PLEASE. PLEASE. OKAY NOW STAY ALIVE. AAAHHHHHHH.

Oh, Hurley. You’re so awesome.

GOD I MISSED LOST.

Can new-Locke not die? … guess so. Huh. OH HES THE SMOKE MONSTER NOW.

Well that was a theory confirmed. Oh, man in black = black smoke.

Aw, I’m kind of sad Locke is dead. Like think about it—he’s just so awesome. Not Jocular Locke, but real Locke.

OH THE ASH KEEPS HIM SAFE. LIKE JACOBS CABIN. NEATO. Woah. Except not when you have shitty balance.

SHIT SON. Lost is playing fo’ real this season.

Awwwww Juliet I love you. SO much. Probably more than Sawyer does. OH please don’t die, Juliet. Don’t go off and do V. It’s not worth it. Oh come on she can’t die like that. Lost writers, really? REALLY? Now I’m just kinda mad at you.

Oh Juliet. Um, Sawyer? Jack loved her too at one point… kinda. Or well, you know.

AW Charlie don’t say things like that. Please.

Why isn’t Juliet on this flight? Whine. That can’t mean anything good.

NADIA! Okay, maybe Sayid would’ve been happier if he’d gotten to LAX. I also have no memory of Jin’s Rolex. Aw, Kate. And Charlie. ‘N everybody.

AWWW LOCKE YOU CANT WALK. LOCKE. BREAK MY HEART WHY DON’T YOU. God. Poor Locke. This is horrible.

Well, that’s one half. Not much learned, except smoke monster is jocular Locke. Who is also superman? And basically everyone should’ve stayed on the island. Also, Juliet. GOD. Why did they have to kill her with a crappy line like that? I mean, it just… ugh. I can’t even be properly sad about it. Except for Sawyer.

LAX: Coherent Thoughts

Spoiler alert.


The part that resonated with me the most was the Locke/Jack interaction in the airport, because we've known since season one that Jack is a spinal surgeon who can make the paralyzed walk again, and that Locke is paralyzed with a spinal injury. How did it take us (or maybe just me?) 6 seasons to make this connection?

On a related note, I bet Juliet will still be the fertility specialist in this reality who helps Jin and Sun get pregnant, even if I can't figure how that connection will get made yet. And then somewhere, somehow, she'll be happily having coffee with Sawyer.

Other moments that resonated were mostly callbacks to season one-- Jack needing a pen to help someone breathe, Locke and his box of knives, Kate actually being true to character--

There were moments that were really emotional, too--Ben and NotLocke discussing Locke's death and sad life (ugh, so sad), and the way Sawyer looked at Juliet before she died, AGAIN, for the fifth time in three hours (counting the recap ep). UGHHHH.

Does anyone else think that maybe the Man in Black isn't the villain, that maybe he, like Juliet in season 3, just wants to go home?

Of course maybe not.

I'm confused. And not in a good way. I don't like how little I understand. I'm all for sudden plot twists leaving viewers in the dark, but I'd like to have a bit more material to theorize over and a bit less material making me just confused.

Oh--I know everyone says this, but I thought this episode really did highlight how absolutely fantastic both Michael Emerson and Terry O'Quinn are. Just saying.

LAX: Liveblog Take 1

Liveblog:

(incoherence is to be expected. Coherent analysis is in the next post--check that for theories, reviews, snarky comments, etc. )

Spoilers follow if you haven't scene the premiere yet, but first, the recap episode:

OMFG THIS RECAP EPISODE IS SO GOOD. I wish I didn't have reading and could totally focus on the rest of it.

OMG JULIET IT'S YOUR SECTION OF THE RECAP SECTION! I LOVE YOU PLEASE DON'T DIE AGAIN.

Daniel Faraday, you are a tragic figure.

I find young Eloise Faraday WAY more likable than old Eloise Faraday (although Matthew comments that old Eloisde Faraday is WAY more fashionable, in case you were wondering), but I don't know if it's on purpose on the part of the show or because of the different actresses.

Haha what good lost fan can't hear the sad lost music without crying?

JULIET I DON'T WANT TO WATCH THIS AGAIN.

NOW: THE SEASON PREMIERE:

Just shrieked out loud really loudly. Hope neighbors aren't home.

They're making us watch Juliet AGAIN? 3 times in an hour? SERIOUSLY I CAN'T HANDLE THIS, ABC.

"Looks like we made it" indeed.

To quote Hurley from way back, "Rose's husband is white. Didn't see that one coming!"

WHY IS DESMOND ON THE PLANE?!?!

Why are we looking at fish? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!

....no seriously, what?

JULIET! I LOVE YOU! .......Or it's Kate. Way to freaking psych me out.

What's going ON?!?!

Yay, Sawyer thank you for missing Juliet <3>

WHAT. IS. GOING. ON.

Oh no. If Sawyer tries to con Hurley I'm gonna...gag a little. Aw no, he's being sweet instead!

Flash...sideways?

Oh yeah, Sayid was shot! I forgot that in all the reality splitting excitement!

OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD PLEASE BE ALIVE PLEASE BE ALIVE JULIET JULIET JULIET JULIET JULIET

Re: Noise behind Hurley: I call it's Locke. And it's.....Jacob? Jacob. Okay. I wanna say I was close.

Oh right. Jin sucks in this reality.

BOONE YOU'RE BACK!

Boone and Locke, your relationship is so cute! ...I probably shouldn't say that considering how it ended the first time around.

Uh oh. I think this is not good.

The problem with Lost is that now that it's less about the characters and all about the plot twists, there's ABSOLUTELY NO WAY TO JUDGE which side is good and which is evil, if there even is such a distinction.

SAVE JULIET. RIGHT NOW.

Of course you died an hour ago, Jacob. That makes sense.

Jacob re: Ben: "An Old Friend"? Really? The guy who you wouldn't show yourself too, who you didn't stop the cancer of, and whose daughter you didn't save? I'm liking you slightly less. Or just brainwashed by NotLocke/Man in Black/Smoke Monster.

OH RIGHT. HURLEY CAN TALK TO DEAD PEOPLE. I FORGOT THAT.

Sawyer I don't approve of violence but I'm really glad your heart is in the right place.

OMG IT'S CHARLIE. Charlie...died? They did NOT bring Dom Monaghan back just to die.

Akriti posits that maybe when the plane crashed it extended Charlie's life, and this will be the beginning of "see how much better life is really when the plane crashed" ?

OMG YOU NEED A PEN.

OMG IT'S THE PILOT. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.

This switching realities is so emotionally confusing.

Okay honey please don't be dead. OHMYGOD YES!!!! YESS!!!!!!!

Yay empowered Hurley! I like you!

Empowered Ben less so.

Oh my GOD Terry O'Quinn you're CREEPY SLASH INCREDIBLE.

HE'S THE SMOKE MONSTER! HOLY CRAP! OMFG!!!

WHITE ASH CONTAINS IT! IT ALL MAKES SENSE!

Michael Emerson, you are PRICELESS. Please always have that expression on. I am referring to the flabbergasted one.

Ohmygod Sawyer. The look on your face is like.....devastating.

Seriously I want Sawyer to call me blondie. Despite my not being blond. Right now, plz.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. NO. NO. NO. NOT OKAY. NOT OKAY. NOT. FREAKING. OKAY.

You were "supposed" to die? Charlieeeeee. I say that in a Claire voice, PS.

The guitar case is something that Hurley is going to use in the other reality....to do....something....

How. The frick. Is there another hour.? THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID FRICK INSTEAD OF FRAK. I'M THAT CONFUSED.

So Jack, your dad is on the island. You can deal. PS I bet you'll meet Claire at the funeral, somehow.

WHEN ARE WE?

Dude in red shirt, don't you know that's a bad fashion choice for this show?

The twitterverse seems to think these people are new Others, but I think we're just at a different place in time....thingy.

Kate you are one crafty fugitive.

Awww Sawyer that was adorable, even if it was vaguely Skate-ish. I guess I like you guys as adorable friends.

MILES. MILES YOU CAN SPEAK TO THE DEAD TOO.

Well now THAT'S not true (re: sawyer saying miles is the only person that talks to dead people). Hurley talks to dead people too.

WHAT?! "It worked." But how did she KNOW??

Who the FRICK are these people?

OHMYGOD IT'S JACOB'S LIST.

I'm feeling a little bit defeated at how little I get of what's going on. Like I'm not confused about anything concrete-I know where everyone is in both realities, how they got there, what they want, etc.--but I have no idea what's going on beyond that.

Oh Sunnnn. I forgot how much everything sucked for you before the crash.

Kate, that look on your face now is exactly how I feel. So confused and defeated.

Akriti has a theory about: Is Sayid being punished for all the people he tortured?

...Um, whatnow? Weird Island people, I defended you!

Haven't you heard, Jack, dead is dead? I don't believe that for a second on this show, but anyway...

CLAIRE! YAY YOU'RE BACK! I DIDN'T REALIZE I MISSED YOU THIS MUCH BUT I DO!

Oh! The kidnapped kids from season 2!

Oh if I were actually on the island I would be SO SICK OF THIS.

THE WHITE ASH REAPPEARS! YAY FOR ME CORRECTLY UNDERSTANDING SOMETHING, FINALLY.

Oh, and black smoke! Oh nevermind it's a beacon.

Can someone just EXPLAIN WHAT'S GOING ON.

That's so sad....yes that is the saddest thing I ever heard.

Man in Black what's off the island? WTF? WTF IS GOING ON?

OHMYGOD TERRY O'QUINN PLEASE *NEVER* MAKE THAT FACE *EVER* *EVER* AGAIN. IT SHOULD BE CLEAR WHICH FACE I'M TALKING ABOUT.

I don't understand. At all. I'm feeling very frustrated.

oh KATE. I like you this episode but don't take Sawyer away from Juliet even if she is dead in this reality, k?

...Locke you're being metaphysical. ...in a weirdly...comforting way? Is Jack thinking?

Oh Locke! You and your box full of knives.

OHMYGOD JACK IS A SPINAL SURGEON AND HE'S GOING TO FIX LOCKE?! OHMYGOD PLEASE LET THAT BE HOW THIS ENDS.

HOW DID WE NOT SEE THIS COMING FROM THE PILOT? LOCKE HAS A SPINAL INJURY AND JACK IS A SPINAL SURGEON. OHMYGOD ALL THE PEICES FELL INTO PLACE. *THAT'S* WHAT I WAS EXPECTING FROM THIS EPISODE.

...k.

Er apparently that's all for now. See following post for actual coherent reviews/theories etc. .

Pilot Post

There are approximately 6 hours until the Lost: The Final Season Premiere event begins, so I believe a pilot post is in order!

This blog is written by two (female) lost fans (we're considering going by "Steve" and "Scott", but that would involve figuring out who is which...) who used to watch Lost together when it aired every week. However, as Steve (okay, I made you Steve. You can deal, right? :-p) is currently abroad in France for the year, we're using this space to liveblog our reactions as we watch the episode separately, discuss, and then summarize thoughts/theories/predictions for next week. Awesome lost related links that we find will also be posted!